...or not.

It just got to be too much to bear, dealing with the unending joy of comment spam, even with the controls Six Apart had added to MT several versions ago. I was spending more time managing comment barf than posting to my blog, responding to comments, or visiting others' blogs.

But after a long siesta, and scoring a degree, and starting a blog for my company, I figured it was time to pick the keyboard back up.

Et voila, signs of life.

Plus I need a place to blow off steam and talk about things that aren't appropriate for my customer-facing blog. Like the next entry to come.

I've been stressed out, which initially led to the insomnia. And then I got stressed out about the insomnia, resulting in some sort of ridiculous meta-insomnia in which I couldn't sleep because I was worried I wouldn't be able to sleep.

It's ebbed and flowed since, but I never reached a point I was consistently dropping off easily to sleep.

Even on vacation last weekend, sleep was fitful at best.

Coming back from vacation, I vowed to kick insomnia—and I have. By reading.

I curl up with a good book in the dark, click on a book light, and read through a chapter. Maybe two chapters, depending on how much it sucks me in. And then, when I'm done (or satisfied), I put my literature aside and lie down. Bam, give me 30 minutes and I'm out. It's beautiful.

It's also an excellent way to actually enjoy some leisure reading, which is something I've not made time for in... oh... well over a year now.

Hooray for books! They're good for what ails you. They're also just plain fun. (Unless, say, you're trying to finish Atlas Shrugged in 24 hours or something, in which case I suppose torture would be accurate.)

Yes, it's been quiet around here lately—but I've been busy.

Things are a little more back to normal now, so posting should resume shortly.

Answer: Yes and no.

In low traffic areas, where there's not a buildup of nasty people oil grossness, it does a pretty decent job getting the carpet to look nice.

In high traffic areas, where there is that kind of buildup, it doesn't do as well. They do, however, recommend pre-treating such areas with their High-Traffic Pre-Treater. We opted not to.

Regardless of how well it does overall, it does pull up a lot of disgusting crap from the carpet and the pad. What I've been dumping out of the machine isn't so much "dirty water" as "liquid milkshake." So even though it hasn't brought the color of the carpet back to showroom new (which honestly wasn't the expectation), it's doing an admirable job at least making things cleaner (albeit still discolored from years of use).

At any rate, the carpets look nicer in general.

There's also one thing Rug Doctor says I feel I need to address. In their marketing materials, they say the machine is light to load into your car, and easy enough for anyone to use.

It's a little optimistic. Pulling the machine along your carpet requires a good deal of energy and force, as it uses a high-powered vacuum to perform the extraction of the liquid. Yes, just about anyone could go pick it up at the rental place. Actually using it, though? You'd have to be in reasonable shape and have a solid back. And if you aren't already doing regular abdominal exercises, you'll know after cleaning a room.

Let's discuss the good, the bad, and the ugly, shall we?

The Army
Bad. Repetitious paperwork! 3 different takes on things from 2 different people! And deployment (albeit thankfully not overseas) a week before final exams!

My brother's first semester as a university student is off to an awesome start courtesy or your armed forces. He's annoyed, but taking it like a champ, and is already working on ensuring it doesn't happen again.

Canon USA
Oh Canon, what is going wrong inside your big concrete buildings?

You're still making gorgeous lenses and industry-leading digital imaging sensors. But it seems like everything around them is wonky. My trusty old PowerShot has been gone for nearly a month now. Will it ever come back? I can't say as I'm holding my breath.

And then there's your professional printing division, who are slapping together hardware that should make your imagePROGRAF printers awesome for photographers. Too bad they can't be trusted, they're a pain in the ass to use, they're essentially undocumented, and you don't stand behind them with a reasonable warranty or support channel.

We want to love your printers; Why don't let us?

United States Postal Service
It's been two weeks since I mailed my membership application to ASMP. My check still hasn't posted, and I still haven't heard anything back. Have you eaten my outgoing mail now, as well? I have to admit it's a nice change from losing my incoming mail, but unfortunately I can't just run out and get another proof of enrollment for my student membership since I'm finally, you know, graduating.

And on top of this, I had a thrilling time this morning trying to send an Express Mail envelope. Your counter clerk insisted I was not using official USPS labels, but ones for shipping centers. Despite the fact it was printed from the USPS website and had USPS branding all over the damn place, complete with "USPS Employee" instructions. Will my submission package make it to the gallery by the deadline? It's a mystery!

Citibank
Replacement card I was supposed to get in March shows up in May. Card that was supposed to have no annual fee is set up with an annual fee.

I'm required to create a second Citibank login account to pay the bills for the replacement because you can't add a card to an existing login. Can you imagine what it would be like if you had to have separate logins for each account at your bank? Apparently Citibank can, and liked it.

I have no idea how I'm going to pay my bill next month, because I've already forgotten my new User ID. Yeehaw.

Arizona State University
I've received a good education.

Unfortunately everything not directly related to the education has been tirelessly aggravating.

Take, for example, filing for graduation. "Congratulations, you passed your degree audit," I was told when I filed. What do I get in the mail 5 days before graduation? "Oh no, you failed your degree audit!" On the up side of things, someone I was talking to said a friend only got their bad news letter after they'd already taken part in the ceremonies and started job hunting. Nice.

Let us not discuss tuition, parking, or the run-down state of the entire campus that isn't Michael Crow's office.

Professional Photographers of America
Ah, the PPA. Claiming to support the industry of photography as a whole.

Except, oops, they've allied themselves with Microsoft for Microsoft's latest photo student contest... which his a rights giveaway no sane person should sign. Supporting the industry by devaluing it, God Bless America!

I was going to give you money, PPA, but this is ridiculous, and instead you're getting a letter about why you won't be getting my money.

Based solely on my own experience, you're looking at upwards of a month's turnaround. I was told 2 weeks on the phone, 7 days in my letter, and 10 days when I first checked my repair status. With 3 days left until it's been a month, my camera is still "Accepted" and "Not yet shipped".

Take, for example, their Nitton undercabinet kitchen lighting. It's just two or three small halogen lights with screw holes in the fixture. You can thus fasten it underneath (or on top of, if you're weird; or on the side of, I suppose) anything.

One of my initial thoughts was that they'd make an awesome work surface light for my Jerker desk. Screw one to the underside of the top shelf, and blammo, light galore! After testing one in that position tonight, I can say it's indeed true. Heck, a lone 2-bulb Nitton illuminates the entire width and depth of the desk surface. Not too shabby. (I'm not sure whether being able to partially see the lamps would cause eyestrain, though, so I haven't gone nuts with the screwdriver yet.)

My primary purpose for buying one in the first place was to wash behind my TV. If you're familiar with home theater, you know a darkened room is the best way to enjoy a movie. But you also know a completely dark room eventually leads to eyestrain as your eyes no longer know where to focus. Popular solution? A gentle light behind your television brings depth back into the room while not being obtrusive.

I'm not so sure about using the Nitton there. It's actually bordering on being too bright. When I get around to building a new entertainment center, though, chances are pretty good I'll throw one of these handy IKEA lights in the A/V stack to backlight my meager collection of equipment... which amounts to a crappy Sony receiver, a Technics equalizer I inherited from my dad and no longer use, and a 1980s-era Sony CD player that occasionally decides it wants to skip through two tracks at a time. Ah, technology.

Granted, now that I've discovered the Nitton, IKEA is sure to discontinue it. So if you think you have a use for it as well, it would probably be wise to go stock up on the damn things before they potentially disappear forever in June.

But the nozzles seem to be fine in this instance, so hey, can't fault the printer on that count.

Can we question something else? Heck yes.

After completing the nozzle check, all of the 330mL cartridges—some of which were reporting themselves nearly half-empty—suddenly reported themselves as full. Uh, what? Is ink materializing out of thin air all of a sudden?

The 770mL cartridge, on the other hand, retained its original status.

Mystery!

The new Eye-One Photo LT strips the CMYK support out of the Eye-One Photo (which you don't need if you're printing through a driver), and takes about $400 off the top in return. If you shop around, you can buy it through the end of May for under $600.

And, as with the rest of the Eye-One bundles, you can upgrade it piecemeal later. Add a RIP and want that CMYK support back? Pay the upgrade fee at that time and there you go.

I was trying to figure out if my startup could afford the Eye-One Photo, but hey, now it doesn't need to!

Edit: I glossed over a point I didn't intend to. For the discounted rate, you also forgo the full-featured RGB profiling for Gretag's "Easy RGB" profiling. It's a reduced-size patch set. The Eye-One Match software uses some fancy mathematics and does a pretty damn good job generating profiles, but for more control you'll probably still want Eye-One Photo.

On the other hand... If you're using the ColorBurst RIP, it's probably the cheapest way to get an Eye-One spectrophotometer to use with their profiling software. Or if you plan on using another profiling package like Monaco or ProfileMaker, again, you won't miss the ability to generate larger quantities of patches (since you won't be using Eye-One Match). Think of it as buying an awesome monitor profiler and getting a print spectrophotometer for cheap.

Living in a hot climate such as Phoenix, people tend to sweat. Even if you live somewhere cold, stress and exercise are among a myriad of reasons you'll sweat over the course of a day. Were we all nudists, the story would stop there: we'd sweat, we'd bathe, and that would be the last we'd hear of it.

Our global culture being overall "civilized," though, we have deigned to carry on our daily business clothed, with the purpose of hiding our other business.

This is all well and good (I spend less time feeling bad about not being some washboarded Adonis) up until we break north past the nipple line. There, my friends, lies our primary enemy: the armpit. It sweats. Your shirt absorbs it. Funk happens.

Funk comes in many shapes and sizes, including but not limited to discoloration, antiperspirant buildup, and permanent stench. Let us delve into solutions for as many as I've encountered in my clothes-wearing life.

Antiperspirant Buildup
You've probably lost a shirt to this. We probably all have. Your arms stay reasonably dry, but over time this waxy, crusty thing appears in the underarm area of your shirtsleeves. Usually right where the fabric tucks into your armpit.

Part the first: Meat tenderizer may be able to save any shirts already so afflicted. Be sure to get the unflavored variety, or you will rue your mistake later. Make a paste out of it with some water, work it in, and let it sit. Wash the shirt normally, and with any luck, you'll be as good as new. But believe you me, it will come back given half an opportunity.

Part the second: Change your primping and preening habits.

The easiest way to solve this is to cast aside antiperspirant altogether. Switch over to a pure deodorant and it won't occur again. If you wear cologne or perfume, you can use that in your underarms instead (and it will, in fact, probably work better than deodorant if you actually get all hot and sweaty).

If you're just a naturally sweaty beast, deodorant alone may not be an option. Instead, there are two ways to go about things. The first way is to shave or trim your armpit hair as short as you're comfortable with. Antiperspirant only works when it comes in contact with your skin. With less hair in the way, more actual antiperspiring will take place, the antiperspirant isn't lurking on your underarm hair waiting to make a mess, and you're likely to use less antiperspirant (using "too much" is what helps speed up the crap formation in the first place).

The second way is to use a product like Certain Dri at night and deodorant when you're getting ready in the morning. Do be advised that Certain Dri is ridiculously concentrated, and if you're worried about pumping your body full of aluminum (be it poor kidney health or just general distaste for excessive metals in your body), it's probably not for you. But if you're already using antiperspirant today, who's going to notice the difference? If it works for you, you're also using Certain Dri only two or three times a week, so it evens out in the end.

Next in our series... Perma-stench. Join me tomorrow for information!

I've tried various styles, various manufacturers, and the damn collar always shows.

You wear a v-neck, and you lose the flash of white in the front... but gain ridiculous and inexplicable collar show at the sides.

You wear an a-shirt or "wifebeater," and you solve the collar problem. But you also end up with a completely pointless undershirt. Why even bother putting on an undershirt when it has no armpit protection? The whole point is to keep your sweat off the good shirt. (I'm happy to say that in recent years, men's fashion magazines have finally joined me in denouncing the a-shirt for the worthless crap it is. Like, totally duh.)

It's not a hard problem to solve. Make the neck a little wider, plunge the collar a little lower, and the undershirt doesn't show. So why has nobody done it?

Get ready to drop $200 and love every moment of it.

I had a chance to play around with the beta, and within the first 5 minutes I knew I'd finally be upgrading. And this coming from a guy who skipped CS2 because it didn't add enough tangible benefit to justify $169.

Not only is CS3 faster than CS and CS2 on older hardware, but the new features are great. The biggest difference is the new User Interface, though. I've been using Photoshop for years, and I have no qualms about saying CS3's UI is the single best UI Photoshop has ever had. It gets out of your way and lets you work in a way previous versions just haven't.

The sole caveat I can come up with at this point is for users of Intel Macs. If you're using plug-ins that are no longer supported by their vendor, you're going to end up running Photoshop non-natively at least some of the time (i.e., when you want to use the old, PowerPC-only plug-ins). And even if you're using current software, there will definitely be a teething period in which you're stuck with Rosetta while vendors update their plug-ins.

But frankly, that's small potatoes to me: Even if I had to run Photoshop CS3 in Rosetta emulation for the rest of my life, I'd still upgrade. It is simply that much more streamlined in daily use.

What's not to love, on paper? They claim a larger gamut due to their twelve colors. They claim a stable of papers that puts even Epson, de facto inkjet paper powerhouse, to shame. And, perhaps best of all, they make the fastest wide-format inkjet printers on the market. Faster than Epson. Way faster than HP.

Unfortunately some of us forced to work with them have discovered it ain't no honeymoon.

Over at ASU, we've got two Canon iPF8000 printers. They print on media up to 44" wide, which sounds like a total boon until you've actually tried to use them.

Canon #1 will gladly print away all day, but everything comes out very yellow, a tad magenta, and distressingly oversaturated. This is not good for a $6000 printer marketed to photographers as producing accurate color.

Canon #2 refused to print at all until yesterday, occasionally even playing "hide and seek" on the network, able to be found on some computers but not others. Once the non-printing issue was solved, we were all terribly pleased to discover that it kind of prints: the blue printhead is entirely non-functional. This is something so terribly obvious that it shouldn't have left the factory, much less passed inspection when they were set up. The print heads on these suckers have 2,560 nozzles per color. The printer also knows how to work around clogged nozzles. In other words, there's no way this is something as mundane as a clog: it's faulty hardware.

Canon's batting zero on the functionality of these two printers alone in my book.

But it just gets compounded by more facts of the situation.

Little niggling design choices by Canon, like the printer flashing "PAPER TYPE MISMATCH" every time you print, regardless of whether the papers actually match. The warnings from a supposedly-full-bleed, professional printer that it's going to cut off part of the image if you print past its margins. The braindead paper loading, which sees you with the catchtray bar in your chest as you blindly fish around hoping the paper loads, and the printer doesn't decide your perfectly-straight paper is skewed and make you do it all over again.

Then there's the issue of Canon papers.

In their "Printers for Professionals" brochure, Canon occupies the entire back page with a list of their available papers. I defy you to actually find someone who can sell you one. I tried. I finally gave up and switched my order to Epson paper after two weeks; one distributor had not been able to get any of Canon's papers, and the other claimed they could get the one I wanted but never actually did. Further, if you go over to Epson's site, they have full technical specifications for every paper they sell: brightness, weight, lightfastness ratings, surface... At Canon's site, you can't even find information about their professional papers. And even if you can find their media site through the back door, the most you get is the name and maybe the weight of a paper. Further, Canon's a little obsessive about adding brighteners to their papers, leaving many of them looking decidedly blue instead of white. The more you brighten a paper, the more you have no clue what the image is going to look like as the brighteners fade (nevermind the fact blue paper looks ridiculous).

For a company that's trying to steal Epson's thunder, they're sure as hell doing a miserable job of it. Two broken printers, annoying "features," and unavailable paper? I know that's the sort of certainty I want for making my prints!

Meanwhile, my consumer-level Epson printer is churning out prints on all sorts of papers that match perfectly to my monitor, and every paper Epson makes is available with a day's notice.

How Canon can screw up this badly on low-quantity, expensive printers when they make high-quantity, inexpensive consumer printers so well is far beyond my comprehension. They've got the money and the time to get it right, but they just... didn't.

You know it's horrible for you. It has a tube of ooey gooey caramel the size of a 50 cent piece. The ice cream itself is dense and creamy and lingers on your palate long after you've swallowed it. It's oh-so-delicious, but not the sort of thing you could eat in large quantities.

The nutrition facts bear that out, too: a 1/2 cup serving (of which there are four in a pint) composes a whopping 23% of your daily recommended fat intake. But it's so worth it. Infarction be damned, that's some good ice cream.

It's a darn good question: They're both RC base, both 10 mils thick, both the same opacity. And at first blush, they appear to have the exact same surface.

There are two differences to be aware of (beyond the easy-to-discover "premium semigloss comes in limited sizes"):
1. Premium Luster is much shinier. Where light reflects off the textured surface, you'll get bright white glare. Light on the Premium Semigloss is much more muted and controlled.
2. Premium Semigloss bears a plain "EPSON" backprinting. Premium Luster bears Epson's professional backprinting, reading "EPSON Professional Paper" and "Do Not Duplicate" in multiple languages. (They're both packaged as professional media, so don't ask me why the distinction.)