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February 4, 2006

Heads at opposite ends, of course...

SNL: "You could sleep with me in my feather bed, heads at opposite ends, of course..."

Ah, the memories that dredges up.

When I was but a wee Colin, I went to the babysitter's house instead of a babysitter coming to our house. My parents were working nights at that point, so most of the time I'd end up sleeping at her house until 5am when my dad got off his shift and picked me up.

Upon occasion, the babysitter would take on more than one kid at a time. It was always the same other boy; his mom worked the night desk at the Doubletree (oh, what worthless, worthless details to remember!). At any rate, she only had one double bed for the both of us. So when she had both of us for the night, we had to share it.

Which is where it gets really bizarre and obsessive: we were expressly forbidden to sleep facing the same direction. We had to sleep with heads at opposite ends of the bed, and preferably facing away from each other, lest we do something untoward. As if kids our age had any grip on sexuality.

Two boys sleeping in the same bed was just not right in her world, and apparently we were sure to turn out gay were we allowed to sleep like normal human beings.

It was far from her only idiosyncrasy, mind you, but it is the one that always sticks in my brain.

The babysitters my brother and I were subjected to... And half of them from reliable agencies! Oh, the stories, the stories...

Posted by Colin at February 4, 2006 11:55 PM

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