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October 13, 2004

Random Childhood Memory

I had a selection of babysitters through my childhood that can only be described as "interesting," so more of these little anecdotes may pop up over time.

But for now, just this one.

I had one babysitter who, upon occasion, babysat another child simultaneously. Another little boy. We got along famously, which was a nice break from some of the kids I hated. Some days we'd both have to sleep at the babysitter's house until our parents showed up.

This was all well and good, except she only had one spare bed.

Which, as little kids, doesn't matter. If there's room enough for two people and someone tells you to sleep in a bed, so be it. Especially since most of us probably shared beds in hotel rooms with brothers or sisters.

The babysitter, however, was obsessed. Two little boys sleeping in the same bed would apparently lead to wild boy-on-boy sex or homosexuality or something, and she was always adamant we not sleep like normal people. Rather, we had to sleep head-to-foot. So the foot of the bed had a pair of feet and a head while the head of the bed had a head and a pair of feet.

Granted, this sort of thing effectively precluded spooning and fucking, but it was nearly the perfect arrangement for uninhibited mutual oral sex.

Not that anything ever happened, mind you, because we were both far from puberty and sex is the last thing on your mind (and pointless, as ejaculation is years off).

I seriously don't know what was going through that babysitter's head or why she didn't consider all the sexy possibilities, but it always made for interesting nights. And makes for immense laughter all these years later as I look back on it. It's so completely insipid.

Posted by Colin at October 13, 2004 6:11 PM

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